He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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