WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
