I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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