So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
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