Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
