Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
