I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
