im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
