Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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