Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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