ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Randomize
