Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
