ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
