She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
