And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
