sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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