i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
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