I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
