In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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