dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
