Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
