I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
