yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
