That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
