I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
