Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
