dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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