My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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