I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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