just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
4 words: hood of his car
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
