Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
