yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Randomize
