thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She's the barista slut.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize