you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
