I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
