Is it normal to miss your booty call?
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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