We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
