Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize