: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
