My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
