I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
