ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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