So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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