One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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