is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
