I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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