Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
