I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
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