ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
