Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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