office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
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