Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
