your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
