I want to stick my p in your. b.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
