Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
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