That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
