Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
