The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
