An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
