Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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