My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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