I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
