you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You were trust falling into bushes
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
