Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
