we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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