Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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